Pulling my Hair out in Frustration....followed by some Tears

I am usually pretty stoic, relatively calm and not prone to tears. My husband thinks I am like a guy in that way. He has not seen me cry that often or become overly emotional in the 9 years (wow!) we have been together. The lack of crying and emotional outbursts does not mean I lack passion; I just channel my frustrations by remedying an upsetting situation, etc. Plus, I work out a lot and that helps me relieve stress. However, yesterday I got so upset and frustrated I cried after coaching a swim practice with my team. Why? I felt like the entire workout was a waste of time (for me and them). They were cheating on the set, skipping things when I went to the bathroom and otherwise displaying a lack of respect for me and their teammates. First of all, I did not know we were at a point where skipping 50s in a warm up set was even a consideration, they are not 12 years old. Second, why show up for a workout if you are going to dog it? Be true to yourself and find something you enjoy doing. Now, I understand that athletic scholarships help pay the bills but if that is the ONLY reason you are doing an activity I think that attitude needs to be reevaluated. There has to be some passion, some sort of commitment to the activity. If not, you are just taking an opportunity away from someone who really wants to be there. I don't want to treat my athletes like children. I don't want to have to stand over their lane and count every single 50 they do to make sure they are doing the correct amount. That's a waste of time. I want them to WANT to work hard. I want to see commitment to achieving the goals they told me about at the beginning of the year because right now, I am not seeing it. I don't know if they have found this blog on the internet but if they are reading it I hope they understand that to me it is not about winning or losing or even going a certain time that will make me proud of them---it is about the effort to go for it every single day the RIGHT way. The results, those take care of themselves if you just put yourself out there and commit to the effort. It's only a failure if you fail to go for it. It's cliche but true.

The day was not totally lost after the morning workout that made me cry. I had a great run on the treadmill because I was upset so I decided to channel that energy into good. I also received an extremely thoughtful gift from Sara, one of my triathletes. It made my day. It was a gift certificate to one of my favorite restaurants in the city--Urban Belly. Sara is expecting another little one very soon but we have already talked about post baby #2 goals and she is even signed up for a few races, I love it!

So yesterday started out bad and ended pretty well. Here's to hoping that some people on the team start 2010 off right and make a change in their attitude, it will make all the difference in their training and racing.