Today, as I was setting up my computrainer, I had the Sharapova vs. Petkovic tennis match on the television. Petkovic had been "bageled" in the first set, losing 0-6 to Sharapova. It was during the second set and Petkovic found her rhythm and was at deuce with Sharapova and ended up breaking Sharapova on the point. The commentator said something about Petkovic like "well, she played so terrible the first set the pressure is off and now she can just PLAY." Petkovic did not end up winning the match, or even the second set, but she did finish a lot better than she started and made Sharapova work for the win in the second set. The comment about "just playing" really resonated with me. I will tell you why, I just have to back up and fill you in on a couple things....
This morning I gave the swim coach I used to work with a call. One of our former swimmers lost her brother in a tragic accident on Monday (thinking of you AG) and I wanted to make sure Paul knew what happened since he is not on Facebook. We talked about that, how the season ended and a few other things before he asked about my training and racing. I gave him a quick run down of my Puerto Rico and Wildflower races from a general perspective and then, unexpectedly, I launched into a brief psychoanalysis of what I thought was going on and why I had been disappointed with some aspects of my performances. It was probably more than he bargained for when he asked the innocent question of "how is your training going?"
This goes back to the Petkovic bagel because I feel like I have "bageled" in my two races this year. There have been good things and I have seen improvements but because of the pressure I have put on myself it has not all come together yet. So, this weekend, I want to get out there and "just play." No pressure, no expectations. I want to find some fast feet and survive the cold water. I want to bike really hard like I do in workouts and make it hurt. I want to run as fast as I can and get up the sand ladder faster than I did last year. Finally, I want to cross the finish line knowing that I gave everything to get there as quickly as possible. The rest will take care of itself.
A fun Sunday ride with friends. That is WHY I do this.